How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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