After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Randomize
