She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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