the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
