His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
