I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
