I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We have started to decorate penises.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
