Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
