im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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