So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Randomize
