I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
