That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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