I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
