We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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