I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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