I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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