Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
