he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
