I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
