She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
