What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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