Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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