All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
did i just pee glitter
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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