Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
