Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
