where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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