There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
At least make sure they are 18
Why
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Randomize
