tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
