im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize