I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
