Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize