hotel room ftw
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
