We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
