I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
