This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
