I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
