You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Randomize
