Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
