Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
