Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
