I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Randomize