Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
bring money and cleavage
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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