We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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