It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
