YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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