Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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