Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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