in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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