I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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