dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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