she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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