I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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