The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
