all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
