guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
