Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
The air taste purple.
Randomize
