We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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