i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
