i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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