i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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