Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize