By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
