Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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