Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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