you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
