ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
