We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I love having hate sex.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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