I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
vagina is talking i cant
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize