you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
