I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
