mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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