I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
