wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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