Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
