You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
